How to ‘Win’ Full Custody

When relationships break down and children are involved, emotions run high, which can make it easy to fall into the mindset of wanting to “win.” But child custody isn’t about victory. It’s not a contest, and there are no prizes. What matters most is the welfare of your child — and that’s also the priority for the courts in England and Wales.

This guide employs the term “how to win full custody” for clarity, as it’s a phrase many parents still use but is now legally outdated. But we want to be clear: the goal should always be to secure arrangements that meet your child’s best interests, not to “defeat” the other parent. That said, there are situations where sole residence (commonly called full custody) is necessary — and understanding how the courts approach these cases can help you prepare effectively. 

With the right knowledge and preparation, you can present the strongest possible case for your child’s future. Here we explain how child arrangements work in England and Wales, to help you make the right decisions for yourself and your loved ones.

Understanding the Legal Terminology

Although many people still talk about getting/winning “custody,” the correct legal term in the UK has been “child arrangements” since 2014. What used to be called custody is now described as a live with order, while access is referred to as a child arrangement order.

Despite this legal shift, terms like “shared custody” and “full custody” are still commonly used by the general public, so we’ll adopt these terms throughout this guide; while also acknowledging the proper legal framework governing child custody arrangements.

The fundamental principle underlying the UK’s child custody arrangements is the welfare of children. Courts consider this to be the No.1 priority, so every decision must focus on what serves a dependent’s best interests above all else. This principle guides every aspect of the legal process when determining how to win full custody, regardless of each parents’ circumstances or their preferences.

Grounds for Seeking Full Custody

Courts will only award full custody when there are compelling reasons why a shared arrangement wouldn’t be in the child’s best interests. Understanding how to win full custody means recognising the specific circumstances in which the courts would consider deviating from the default of both parents sharing time. 

The main reasons include:

• Neglect or Abuse: A documented history of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse — or evidence of ongoing neglect that puts the child at risk.
• Criminal Record: Serious criminal convictions, particularly those involving violence, drugs, or offences against children, may influence custody decisions.
• Inability to Meet Basic Needs: When one parent cannot provide adequate housing, healthcare, education, or emotional support for the child, sole custody could be the only realistic option.
• Parental Alienation: Attempts by one parent to turn the child against the other parent, or intentionally undermine their relationship, can be grounds for changing arrangements.
• The Child’s Decision: Depending on the child’s age, understanding of the situation, and maturity, their own wishes may carry significant weight. However, this is not usually the sole determining factor.

If any of these grounds apply to your relationship, it’s crucial that you raise them with a solicitor. They will be able to advise on the most appropriate course of action to ensure your child’s welfare is protected.

The Court Process and Child Arrangement Orders

To formalise any child custody arrangement, you’ll need a child arrangement order from the court. These legal documents specify where children will live and how much time they’ll spend with each parent. Understanding this process is crucial for anyone wondering how to win full custody.

The typical timeline for obtaining a child arrangement order ranges from six to 12 months, depending on the complexity of your case and the court’s schedule. During this period, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) will likely become involved, conducting welfare reports and making recommendations to the court.

In urgent situations, where a child’s immediate welfare is at risk, emergency or interim orders can be obtained much more quickly. In fact, many spouses find that they can obtain an emergency order on the day they apply. These temporary arrangements are likely to remain in place until a full hearing has settled permanent arrangements.

How Courts Make These Critical Decisions

When deciding child arrangements, courts follow the Welfare Checklist, as outlined in Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989. This examines multiple factors, such as the child’s background, the family’s history together, and the capacity for each parent to act as carers.

The full remit includes:

• The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs.
• The likely effect of any change in circumstances.
• The child’s age, sex, background, and relevant characteristics.
• Any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.
• How capable each parent is of meeting the child’s needs.
• The range of powers available to the court.

Importantly, courts don’t consider factors like parents’ wealth, lifestyle differences, or social status when making decisions — unless these directly impact the child’s welfare. A parent’s access to overseas holiday homes, or private education doesn’t automatically make them the better choice, especially if they can’t meet their dependent’s basic emotional needs.

The child’s own wishes also become an important factor as they mature. However, even teenage preferences aren’t automatically guaranteed if they conflict with the child’s overall welfare.

Practical Considerations For Parents Seeking Sole Custody

If you want to win full custody of your child, there are a few practical steps you should first take. These include getting to grips with what is required of you, gathering documentation, and meeting court deadlines. The courts expect a high level of detail to make this kind of decision, so prepare to be thorough. 

Before making an application for child arrangements, you will need to:

• Gather Evidence: Success in custody proceedings often depends on thorough documentation. Keep detailed records of interactions between your child and ex-partner, including missed contact sessions, concerning behaviour, or any incidents that affect your child’s wellbeing.
• Provide Documentation: Courts expect comprehensive evidence, which may include school reports, medical records, character references, and detailed statements about your child’s daily routine and needs. Professional assessments from psychologists or social workers may also be required.
• Follow Court Procedures: Family court proceedings have their own specific procedures and timelines. Missing deadlines or failing to comply with court directions can seriously damage your case, regardless of its merits.
• Understand the Timeline: Court cases involving complex family dynamics or international elements can extend well beyond the typical timeframe, which requires long-term commitment and resources.

Alternatives to Court Proceedings

Not every custody dispute requires court intervention. Whether you can avoid formal proceedings largely depends on your ability to cooperate with your child’s other parent and reach mutually acceptable arrangements. If this is suitable to your situation, you can usually expect a calmer, cheaper divorce or dissolution. 

Options to consider include:

• Mediation: Professional mediators help parents negotiate child custody arrangements outside court. This confidential process often produces more flexible solutions than court orders while preserving important relationships.
• Collaborative Approaches: Some families benefit from the collaborative law process, where both parents work with specially trained lawyers to reach agreements without the threat of litigation.
• Direct Negotiation: When communication remains possible, parents may resolve arrangements through solicitor-assisted negotiations, creating formal agreements without court involvement.

These alternatives offer significant advantages, including privacy, reduced costs, faster resolution, and arrangements tailored to your family’s specific needs. However, court proceedings become necessary when safety concerns exist, when one parent refuses to engage constructively, or when power imbalances prevent fair negotiations.

The Importance of Professional Legal Representation

Professional legal representation is essential in family law cases, particularly when seeking full custody (sole residence). The legal system is complex, and even well-meaning parents can make costly missteps without expert guidance. A skilled family lawyer brings a deep understanding of child arrangement orders and knows how to present your case in the strongest possible light. They ensure all documentation is accurate and timely, help gather and present persuasive evidence, and can address potential challenges early in the process.

Beyond custody issues, experienced family lawyers offer holistic support on related matters such as financial settlements, property division, and pension sharing — helping to secure a stable future for the whole family. In cases involving international elements like potential child abduction or disputes over jurisdiction, specialist legal expertise becomes vital. These situations involve additional legal frameworks and complexities that require careful, knowledgeable handling to protect your child’s welfare and legal rights.

Lowry Legal: Here to Support You 

Knowing how to “win” full custody means understanding that the focus should never be on winning at all. The real objective is to create the safest, most stable environment for your child. One where they can thrive emotionally, physically, and mentally. Sole residence may be the right outcome in some cases, but only if it truly serves your child’s best interests.

At Lowry Legal, we’re here to help you navigate this process with sensitivity, professionalism, and a deep commitment to your child’s welfare. Whether you’re seeking guidance on formal court proceedings or exploring more collaborative approaches, we’ll work with you to protect what matters most — your family’s future.

Contact us today for sensitive legal guidance that gets results.