When couples with substantial wealth decide to separate, they often face a choice between lengthy court battles and the conciliatory approach of mediation and other forms of non-court dispute resolution. For those with complex financial arrangements, including international property portfolios, business interests, substantial pensions, and overseas assets, the question isn’t whether to mediate, but rather how to prepare for mediation in a way that will protect your interests and achieve a fair resolution.
This guide walks you through the essential steps of preparing for mediation when your divorce involves complex assets. It is designed to provide the clarity you need to navigate the process with greater confidence.
Why High Net Worth Families Choose Mediation
Family mediation provides a structured, flexible framework for resolving disputes about finances, property, and children without resorting to court proceedings. Particularly prominent for high net worth families, mediation offers distinct advantages that litigation simply cannot match.
Privacy stands as one of the most compelling benefits, as your financial details, business arrangements, and settlement terms remain entirely confidential. This is in contrast with court proceedings, where there is a risk that your information could become part of the public record — if a judgment in your case is published. The extra confidentiality proves invaluable for business owners, public figures, and families who wish to protect their reputation and commercial interests during what is already a challenging time.
Beyond privacy, mediation also provides more creative flexibility. You can structure agreements that consider business cash flow, phased property transfers, or sophisticated pension arrangements tailored to your specific circumstances. The Family Mediation Council, which regulates all practising mediators in England and Wales, emphasises that thorough preparation for mediation is essential to achieving these creative solutions — particularly when dealing with complex asset structures and international holdings.
Understanding the MIAM: Your Essential Starting Point
Before mediation can begin, you’ll first attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, commonly known as a MIAM. This confidential, individual session typically lasts 45 to 60 minutes and serves several important functions in preparing for mediation.
During your MIAM, the mediator will explain how the process works, assess whether mediation suits your particular situation, and screen for any safeguarding concerns that might make it inappropriate. This session provides a safe, private space for you to discuss your circumstances openly, raise any concerns about power imbalances, and ask questions about mediation without your spouse being present. The mediator will carefully check that you can express yourself freely and that mediation represents a safe and viable process for both parties.
For high net worth cases, your MIAM is also an opportunity to discuss the complexity of your financial arrangements in detail. Your mediator needs to understand whether you’ll require specialist valuations from forensic accountants, expert property appraisers, or pension specialists, and whether your case will need multiple extended sessions.
Being forthcoming about this complexity at the MIAM stage allows your mediator to plan appropriately and set realistic expectations for the rest of the process.
Comprehensive Financial Preparation: Building Your Foundation
The cornerstone of successful mediation lies in thorough financial preparation, which becomes even more important when dealing with substantial wealth. Unlike straightforward divorces, where assets might include one property and a few bank accounts, high net worth cases require you to create a detailed picture of sophisticated financial arrangements that often span multiple jurisdictions and asset classes.
Your comprehensive financial disclosure should include:
- All Properties (UK and Overseas): Current market valuations, outstanding mortgage positions, rental income, and any planned developments or improvements.
- Business Interests: Recent accounts (typically three years), professional valuations, ownership structures, details of business debts or obligations, and profit forecasts.
- Investment Portfolios: Holdings across all jurisdictions including stocks, bonds, funds, and alternative investments.
- Pension Arrangements: Cash Equivalent Values (CEVs) are required for all pensions. Aim to start this process early, as obtaining CEVs can take at least three months.
- Offshore Accounts and Structures: Detail any accounts, trusts, or corporate structures held outside the UK, with full details of their purpose and value.
- Valuable Assets: Collections, artwork, jewellery, luxury vehicles, boats, wine cellars, or other significant personal property.
- Income Sources: Derived from employment, self-employment, dividends, rental income, trust distributions, and overseas earnings.
If you have sophisticated business structures designed for legitimate tax efficiency or asset protection, it’s essential to explain these openly and transparently. Your mediator isn’t there to judge your financial planning decisions but rather to help you both understand what you’re dividing and how the options at your disposal might affect you both.
The principle here is simple but powerful: transparency accelerates mediation, while attempts to hide assets will only create delays, mistrust, and potential legal complications down the line. The more prepared and comprehensive your financial information, the more efficiently mediation can progress toward a fair resolution.
Please be aware that you should only obtain information that belongs to you, as there could be repercussions for illegally obtaining information belonging to your spouse.
Getting to Grips With the Legal Reality Before Mediation
One of the most significant mistakes couples make when they don’t consider how to prepare for mediation is arranging sessions before understanding their legal entitlements and realistic expectations. Mediation isn’t about “winning” or “losing,” but you will need to align your expectations with the legal framework that governs financial remedies in England and Wales to get the most out of the process.
Before your first joint mediation session, consult a specialist family law solicitor who has significant experience handling high net worth divorces. They will:
- Provide clear advice on how courts typically divide substantial assets in your circumstances.
- Explain what maintenance expectations might be reasonable given your lifestyle and respective incomes.
- Discuss appropriate provisions for children (including school fees and university costs).
- Unravel the tax implications of different settlement structures.
- Clarify how existing pre and post nuptial agreements might affect your case.
This legal framework is designed to give you confidence and clarity during mediation sessions. You’ll find it easier to recognise which proposals seem reasonable and when you should push back firmly on other suggestions. Many successful mediations involve parties taking breaks between sessions to consult their solicitors about specific proposals.
This isn’t a sign of failure. It shows preparation and responsible decision-making.
In today’s climate you can also undertake integrated mediation where, if appropriate, you can bring in your lawyer and any other experts who are seen to be relevant.
Completing a Mediation Position Statement
A mediation position statement can help clarify your priorities and provide a helpful starting point. For complex or high-value cases, this statement is usually two to three pages long, and should focus on the essentials.
A clear statement will typically include:
- Background: The marriage length, how wealth was created, and your respective career contributions.
- Key Concerns: Examples include protecting business continuity, ensuring housing security, maintaining children’s education, or establishing a fair pension division.
- Priorities: Set out what matters most to you — such as retaining the family home, preserving your business, achieving a clean break, or securing your retirement position.
- Initial Proposals: Present realistic suggestions based on legal advice, acknowledging both parties’ needs.
Note, this document is not fixed. Mediation encourages flexibility, and your thinking may evolve as discussions progress. The value lies in approaching mediation with a structured account of your position, to help the mediator understand your perspective and goals from the outset.
Case Study: Sophie & Michael – Complex Mediation
The following case study illustrates how thorough preparation and understanding how to prepare for mediation can transform what initially seemed an impossible situation into a workable resolution.
After 18 years of marriage, Sophie and Michael held substantial assets: several UK properties, a villa in Portugal, Michael’s £1.2m dental practice, Sophie’s consultancy, multiple pensions, and investments. They also had two children aged 14 and 16 at private school. Going to court felt overwhelming, so they explored mediation.
1. Preparation
Following separate MIAMs, the mediator advised immediate collection of financial documents. Pension valuations alone would take months. Over eight weeks, they completed full disclosure: valuing the dental practice, UK properties, and Portuguese villa, and gathering business accounts.
2. Challenges & Progress
Michael felt entitled to more due to his higher earnings; whereas Sophie feared for her long-term security. The mediator helped them to refocus on future needs, especially around the children’s stability and housing.
3. Mediation
Across four sessions, they confirmed their shared aims: minimise disruption for the children, recognise each other’s contributions, and avoid court. Michael initially proposed keeping his practice and the main home, but Sophie felt this undervalued her needs.
A more balanced agreement emerged: Michael would retain his practice; Sophie would keep the main home (where the children would live) and would also receive an increased pension share. The remaining properties, including the villa, would be sold with proceeds divided in Sophie’s favour.
4. Outcome
Within four months, they reached a full financial and childcare agreement, later turned into a consent order. Mediation saved significant time, cost, and stress while offering privacy and creative solutions that the courts might not have achieved.
Preparing Emotionally for Mediation
Knowing how to prepare for mediation is crucial from a practical POV, but emotional readiness can also determine whether it progresses constructively. High net worth divorces may involve heightened pressure, stemming from concerns over business reputation, lifestyle changes, or disagreements about contributions and entitlement.
To get the most out of the process, you should approach mediation with realistic goals rather than fixed demands. Prepare a few acceptable outcomes rather than one ideal solution. Brief written notes can help you stay focused, though it’s important that you always remain open to your spouse’s perspective as well as to options you may not have previously considered. Remember, nothing discussed in mediation is binding until formalised in a consent order. This should allow you to explore ideas freely and consider creative proposals without committing prematurely. Ultimately, the mediator will support balanced discussion and ensure both voices/standpoints are heard.
What Happens After You Reach an Agreement?
If mediation results in an agreement, your mediator will prepare a summary outlining the terms in clear detail. This document is not yet binding, but does form the basis for the next stage. Your solicitors will convert the summary into a consent order, which, once approved by the court, becomes an official document. In more complex cases, this order may include:
- Business succession or ownership arrangements.
- Pension sharing orders.
- Property transfer procedures and timelines.
- Maintenance provisions.
Even if not all issues are resolved, partial agreements are still valuable. They reduce cost and areas of dispute, leaving only the remaining matters — such as business valuations or international assets — to be negotiated separately.
Divorce Settlement FAQs
What to say and what not to say in mediation?
It’s important to speak honestly, stay calm, and focus on collaborating towards lasting solutions. Avoid blame, insults, or threats.
What are the 3 C’s of mediation?
Communication, Cooperation, Compromise are the key principles for productive discussions when preparing for mediation.
How long is a mediation session?
Typically 1–2 hours, though complex cases may require additional time and/or multiple sessions.
Who has to pay for mediation?
Usually, the cost of mediation is shared by both parties, unless otherwise agreed or court-ordered.
How much does a divorce mediator cost?
Fees vary, generally between £100–£200 per hour, depending on their experience and location.
Should I see a solicitor before mediation?
Yes, to understand your legal rights and get reliable advice on financial and parenting matters.
Move Forward With Confidence With Lowry Legal
Understanding how to prepare for mediation is the key to navigating even the most complex high net worth divorce with confidence, clarity, and control. By getting to grips with the emotional and financial landscape, seeking specialist legal advice, and remaining open to creative solutions, you can achieve outcomes that protect your interests and maintain stability for your children.
For anyone expecting a complex separation, expert guidance is essential. At Lowry Legal, we combine experience in high-value family law with access to an in-house mediator, Michelle Uppal, who is widely recognised for her skill in facilitating constructive, bespoke settlements.
With our support, clients can approach mediation knowing they are in safe, experienced hands; empowered to reach resolutions that are fair, practical, and tailored to your unique circumstances.
Contact us today to arrange your free consultation.
